William, my sweet…yes, yes, I hear you, yes, I got you, I am here… William! PLEASE! WILLIAM! NO, don’t go, please… come back to me…
In my arms, I hold you, I kiss your soft cheek, stroke your head, and with every ounce of strength I have in my body I hold you close to my breast and plead… please just open your eyes, and look at me, do not leave me, not like this …
In my arms, I hold your body as your spirit is held in our Father’s arms and I know I must let you go, and your spirit carried away, and I am left alone with just your mortal body held in my arms like a garment…
GOD! WHY! …God… why? This is not how this is supposed to happen!!
I don’t have words right now; my heart, my heart…
Do I continue, steady, rhythmic like waves upon the shore…?
Do I cease, paralyzed by grief, devoid of hope, all is silent?
Janine! Oh…our sweet, sweet Janine…why has she tasted such bitterness, such defeat that death presents. A taste that clings like pitch and smoke. Oh, Janine…remember the future, not the one that he is not present in but the one he is; for you, my sweet girl are more like him than even you know.
Low, to hear your voice my husband, your delightful voice just once more whisper in my ear that you are near; oh, to feel the brush of your hand fall softly upon my cheek, caressing my hair and that the sweetness of your lips would drown me in kisses–oh, to be drowned in the kisses of my beloved once more, how willingly would I give my last breath to know the embrace of your arms and be lost in the strength of your eyes. how do I say goodbye how do I begin the end of a beginning?